Tyler has been reading An Inconvenient Book by the LDS host of a popular CNN political show, Glenn Beck. He's read some parts to me and I thought they were very important and interesting.
The first chapter that he shared w/me is called "Body Image: the NEW Hotness" As far as I know, Beck is a convert and has a teenage daughter of his own, which in my opinion, gives him more credibility.
This is what I found most eye-opening, "Here's what a tabloid publisher Louisa Hatfield told Australia's newspaper The Age in 2006: 'Women are obsessed w/body image. They think about their body image more than they think about their children. They think about it even more than men think about sex--which is about a million times a day, isn't it?' " (page 63). Scary, isn't it? I would hate to think that I think about my body image more than my children....but after I heard this I started watching my thinking. And I noticed, Tyler thinks bcse I was aware that I was thinking about it, that I DO think about it a million times a day!!!! What about you? Think about it. I don't believe I am alone in this theory.
He writes, "You can find plenty of hot women hawking plenty of products, but it's what you won't find that's ultimately more important: an ounce of body fat on any of them. That's not reality, that's technology. Whatever fat of flaws these women have are conveniently Photoshopped or airbrushed out..." (page 60). I believe it! How many ads have you seen where legs are unevenly matched, look like they have pixelated coloring, or are obviously erased to look smaller around the waist, jaw, leg or anywhere else? Look closely and you'll see. Or don't, it's pretty obvious at a glance nowadays how perfect these models look.
And speaking of models, he shares a scary statistic:
"The average American model is 5'11" and 120 pounds. Slap a size 0 dress on a telephone pole, and you start to get a sense of what that's like. On the other hand, the average American woman is 5'4" and weighs 163 pounds" (page 64). I have a hard time believing that average for women. Are we really, on average, that short and wide? hm. But this is the scary thing about models: "After three runway models died of self-inflicted starvation, the fashion industry wasted no time imposing a public relations-driven guideline that any model walking the runways--from Madrid to Milan" they upped the weight standards which are still scarily below the average American woman's weight/height (BMI--"body mass index"). So they are taking a step in the right direction but....they are still sending the message that you need to be rail thin in order to look beautiful in your clothing.
But these last facts are the most disturbing. Did you know that "Cosmetic surgery is a now $15-billion-a-year industry in America"? and that 2/3 of the American's who get surgery's "make less than $50,000 a year"!!!!! No wonder people are in debt! But the most shocking statistic is that "hundreds of thousands of patients are between 13 and 19 years old" (page 64)!!!!!! Scary!!!! So he says instead of getting a set of wheels for graduations they are getting a set of something else. And the parents are letting them!?!?!?!
How can we help our teenage girls and sisters? "Here's something a fancy study did confirm: The more fashion magazines a girl is exposed to, the more likely she is to suffer from poor body image. I could've told you that for free" (page 62).
He states later, "How am I supposed to convince my teenage daughter that it's OK to have a little acne when no teenage celebrity has any? ...How can I convince my kids that eating a bowl of ice cream isn't a death sentence when so many of their friends believe that it is? I'm just one man--there's no way I can fight an entire culture...but that doesn't mean I won't try" (page 61-62).
His solution: Don't expose them to or allow "everything [he's] described" into your home and instead of playing video games or TV spend real time with your kids. Seems obvious, right? Well, for some, even those of us who try not to be "of this world" are tempted and/or allow that kind of stuff into our home. We talked a little about this at my last book club (Uglies--highly recommended). It addresses self image. It really made me think. The new Pretty town was this goal but it sounded more like the great and spacious building. Elder Holland said this, "In terms of preoccupation with self and a fixation on the physical, this is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much of the unhappiness women, including young women, face in the modern world. And if adults are preoccupied with appearance—tucking and nipping and implanting and remodeling everything that can be remodeled—those pressures and anxieties will certainly seep through to children. At some point the problem becomes what the Book of Mormon called “vain imaginations.” 11 And in secular society both vanity and imagination run wild. One would truly need a great and spacious makeup kit to compete with beauty as portrayed in media all around us. Yet at the end of the day there would still be those “in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers” as Lehi saw, 12 because however much one tries in the world of glamour and fashion, it will never be glamorous enough." (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Ensign, Nov 2005).
Susan W. Tanner said, "Moderation and appropriateness should govern all of our physical desires....I remember an incident in my home growing up when my mother’s sensitive spirit was affected by a physical indulgence. She had experimented with a new sweet roll recipe. They were big and rich and yummy—and very filling. Even my teenage brothers couldn’t eat more than one. That night at family prayer my father called upon Mom to pray. She buried her head and didn’t respond. He gently prodded her, “Is something wrong?” Finally she said, “I don’t feel very spiritual tonight. I just ate three of those rich sweet rolls.” I suppose that many of us have similarly offended our spirits at times by physical indulgences" (Susan W. Tanner, Ensign, Nov 2005). That makes me feel guilty, especially since I ate about 10 cookies today!
Elder Holland gave this address in October 2005. He said, "I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]” 8 And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies.” 9 Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. And if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won’t be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be—that’s good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size" (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Ensign, Nov 2005).
I can't say it better than that! I know I need to have a more positive self image. And my husband is good about letting me know that he loves me, even though I don't look like I did on our wedding day. And I realize that the more often I call myself "fat" that Samuel and Jocelyn will start thinking it about me too. And then, in turn, Jocelyn will look at me in a bad light and want not to be like me. Everything we do and say is noticed by others, especially girls. And it is so important that we maintain a positive body image. That doesn't mean we need to eat salads every night (I read an article about a woman who was anorexic, her son noticed that salads were all she ate for dinner....then he started noticed that she was also unhealthily thin). But we can exercise in front our children. Samuel and Jocelyn love to lift small cans of vegetables and fight over my exercise band. And I try to make it look enjoyable instead of painful. Enjoy sweet treats but don't scarf them down. Present a healthy snack, like raisins or apples, before fruit snacks or cookies. I need to try that too. Eat an apple before lunch and you'll eat less. Drink more water...Of course, I am writing this more for myself. I need to convince myself that I am beautiful and that I don't need to eat every rich and sweet thing placed before me.
I hope this information was as interesting to you as it was to me.
