Monday, September 17, 2012

Angels all around

Hello. I know, I know. It's been a long time. A very long time since I blogged. It's been a fairly laid back yet usual summer. Tyler graduated in April and started work. We moved to Salt Lake City. Had lots of fun doing summery stuff. Still haven't unpacked completely. And school has started again and going well. Tyler passed the bar! I will have to catch up....later. For now, I wanted to share a personal experience before I forgot it.

Tyler's third sister, Stephanie, got married a little over a week ago. To a nice guy named Kyler. What are the odds? Tyler....Kyler? Very confusing. And to make matters more complicated Tyler already had a sister named Hannah (so there are two of us....and her birthday is the day after mine) and then his brother married Jana. Yeah, it gets confusing at their house sometimes. Anyway, I digress. She got married in Idaho and her reception was the following weekend in Colorado. Tyler and I were not planning on attending but very last minute, due to a casual text from his father saying, "You guys should come to Colorado....go to the reception, watch the Utah/BYU game and head back on Monday...". Tyler asked me, at 1pm on Friday, if we should go. Normally, I'm not a fan of impromptu things like this but we had nothing major that we had to attend that weekend. The kids were out of school and it would be fun to surprise them all! So we loaded up the car, left at 3:30 pm and arrived at 11:30 pm. The kids were great...Watched a movie, we stopped for dinner, and they fell asleep the remainder of the trip. Nice and quiet. Pretty good timing. Oh, and his parents were totally surprised, but gracious for letting us pop in on them. Tyler and the kids went straight to bed and I stayed up with Hannah until 1:30 in the morning talking about boys, college and growing up. It was fun!

We had a great and brisk weekend. Saturday was full of visiting, reception and then the doomed Utah/BYU game....which ended at 11:59 pm...another late night.

Sunday came and we planned to attend church, eat steak dinner with his grandparents and parents, then a quick one hour visit with my brother and his family who live nearby. We, or I, thought, leaving at 4pm again would be beneficial. First, we could visit longer with family. And secondly, the kids would sleep again and we could have a quiet ride home and slip them into bed. thinking was flawed. We should have left right after church, when we were more awake. After a long weekend of playing, sugar, and fun, we were both beat.

Tyler drove most of the way. We stopped for dinner, the kids watched a movie and were asleep by 9pm. We had 3 and half more hours to go. Through dark and barren Wyoming. He was doing well until the last two hours. He had finished off his mountain dew and cracked enough ranch flavored sunflower seeds I was starting to doze off and so was he. So he asked if I could drive. I said I guess I could. I wanted to eat a brownie to get the taste of too many seeds in my mouth anyway. Plus Jocelyn was complaining of a sore throat. Great....more illness. We were all just getting over colds. We pulled over. I gave her some medicine, ate my brownie (or three) and got in the drivers seat. I hate driving at night. I feel claustrophobic. I feel like I have tunnel vision. I hate it. Tyler stayed awake for a bit and then dozed off. And then I felt the sensation. The sensation of drowsiness. The sensation of darkness, my eyes closing, starting to dream. You know the feeling? It feels like you're on a cloud for a bit, quiet, soft, but not really relaxing.  Then a flash of lights come before me. The lights of a trucker on the other side of the freeway passing....don't worry. Not hitting us. Nothing like that. Just a reminder that I am in a car, and I must be in control of this vehicle. This beast. This big, heavy, strong, purposeful thing. I had to control it. I just remember for two hours not really being there....not out of body...just not really aware. Barely aware enough, however,  that I have three kids in the backseat, my husband sitting next to me, driving his precious car (that we will paying off for quite some time), and remembering that we did not pray before we left for this trip. So I said a silent prayer, several times, to keep me awake. I didn't want to admit that I was too tired to pull over. I wanted to get home. The kids had school in the morning. Tyler had work. I had to make up for being gone all weekend. And then Tyler woke up. I remember him asking if I was swerving on purpose. I slurred, "sometimes." Then we got to Park City and there were all these orange zone. It was like a maze of barrels. Somehow I got through them without hitting a barrel. Until at one point Tyler said, "Hannah, what are you doing???" and I became alert enough to see that I was way too close to hitting a barrier between a concrete barrier and a line of barrels, and I swerved and avoided it. And that moment I realized I needed to stay awake. Now. Stay awake. And then I heard the song on the ipod playing. It was Enya, my favorite singer. The song was called "Angels." I heard "angels are aware" but that's not really in the song....but I heard her singing it....It was my answer. We were being protected. We were 30 minutes from home. I could do it. We could do it. We rolled onto our street. Unharmed. Safe...and sound. The next morning (today) I felt like I was hit by one of those trucks (I think I may be sick....body aches and the lot...which may have contributed to my fatigue) and rested most of the day. And counted my blessings for being alive.

Sometimes we make stupid driving home too late, or being too prideful to pull over. And then sometimes music speaks to us. Sometimes prayers are answered through music. Sometimes the love of Christ is felt through unexpected ways. Sometimes I realize we are being protected. There have been several other moments in my life that it had been this vivid. That there were angels protecting my children. My family is being protected, for a purpose. And sometimes we are closer to heaven then we realize. And not enough times, we are grateful. And we are alive and blessed.