Saturday, January 30, 2010

1 week old

Dear Jaundice,

Please go away. You were not invited nor are you welcome. You may tempt my daughter with these cute little ski goggles that never stay in place. She gets to wear little mittens, socks and a beanie, which may be in fashion, but she is too young to be concerned with such things.

You make Cecily's skin yellow, her body tired and her sleeping schedule screwed up, all thanks to you! You may tempt her with this cute little suitcase tanning bed. Her hard little bed that she is forced to sleep in is most uncomfortable. She cannot be swaddled to better satisfy her need to get restful sleep.

We want to be able to hold our daughter again. And I don't like waking up at 8am every single morning to drive to the hospital to get her little foot poked and squeezed of many drops of blood to be tested for billirubin levels.

So, please go away soon, we want our Cecily back!

Thank you,

A concerned and sleep deprived mother

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Birth Story

The development:
Monday, January 11, 2010
-go bowling, trying to induce labor. It only starts contractions

Tuesday, January 12
-38 week check-up. 2 cm, 75% effaced!
-hope to go into labor that night so my sister Jennie can meet baby before she flies out to India the next day. No luck.

Wednesday, January 13
-10pm, contractions start again. Seem to be "real". Can't sleep. Get up and fold laundry, watch movie, etc until 1am. They stop. darn.

Not much happens for the next week other than normal irregular contractions.

The long "travelogue" version of the labor and delivery:

Wednesday, January 20, 2010
10:30 am:
-39 routine week checkup
-stats: at 3 cm, 75% effaced, head at -1 station
-midwife stripped my membranes
-had some minor contractions right after but then they went away, common daily occurrence
-drink 2 mugs of raspberry leaf tea to strengthen uterus

-contractions start, nothing out of the ordinary
-I notice they are coming regularly so I time them
-they are consistently 4 minutes apart
-try to stay distracted--do laundry, start dinner
-try walking, sitting, monitoring strength and frequency
-by the way, I've never labored at home because my water broke with Jocelyn and I was induced with Samuel

-call Tyler's sister, Emily, to come over for dinner and perhaps stay the night

-call midwife
-contractions still 4 minutes apart but getting more intense
-she suggests I come to the hospital to be monitored

-arrive at hospital
-Tyler gives me a priesthood blessing
-hook up to contraction monitor/baby heart monitor
-they check me and I'm only at 3+ cm. bummer.
-they suggest I wait an hour and they'll check me again to see if I am progressing

-they check me again and I'm still only at 3+ cm. bummer.
-contractions 2 minutes apart now
-they give me the option of going home or staying but be off the monitor so I can walk around
-I definitely don't want to go home especially since contractions are so close together and growing more intensely
-Tyler has to run home to grab some forgotten things
-I turn on the TV because I am bored. Man vs Wild is on in the background as contractions get harder

-they put me on the monitors again
-I have to start breathing through the contractions

-they check me again. I've progressed to 5 cm! Wahoo! I can stay!
-they call my midwife to come to the hospital (luckily, she was able to take a little nap during the last 2 hours, she's prego too)
-call Emily and both parents telling them we'll be having a baby soon!

-they try to give me a heplock (the needle that is a pre-cursor for any needed IV)
-the first nurse can't get a good vein. pokes me 2 times trying. calls in a 2nd nurse.
-the 2nd nurse, who obviously has never delivered naturally, keeps telling me how amazing it is that I am going to try to go naturally, while slapping my arm trying to get blood to flow better through my veins
-by the way, I ask that they try poking me between contractions, not during one
-2nd nurse and 2 more pokes, they call in the 3rd nurse. I am rolling my eyes and wishing they'd get the darn needle in already!

-midwife arrives
-they move me to a delivery room, luckily they let me stay on the bed and don't have to walk or sit on a wheelchair. I do not feel like moving!
-focusing on each contraction
-feel like I am heading into transition
-not really aware of what nurses are doing at this point. starting to shiver, another sign of transition.

-3rd nurse, and 2 more pricks later, finally get heplock in!
-I suggest they prepare a bath for me to labor in
-midwife asks if she wants me to have her break my water or if I'd rather get into the bath
-at this point, I don't feel like moving so I say nay to the bath that is running
-she checks my cervix. at 6cm. She breaks my water

-midwife pushes on my knees during contraction. It really helps. they (Tyler, nurses and midwife) take turns as they set up delivery stuff, call pediatrician dude that checks babies when they are first born
-continue breathing through contractions, trying to relax and focus on opening up
-contractions are seriously intense!!
-midwife continues asking if I feel the need to push. not just yet.
-she suggests I get on my hands and knees to open up cervix
-I wait a few contractions. That positions sounds hard to get into at this point.
-trying to stay relaxed and breath, not whimper, through contractions
-ready to get on all fours. I place my knees on the lowered part of the bed and my arms on a pile of pillows.
-first contraction hits.! I immediately feel the "ring of fire" and her head descend.
-trying not to cry and feel like I am dying. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but in all honesty, it was intense pressure
-go through one more contraction like that and feel like she's going to fall out of me. the midwife and Tyler and practically yelling--because I was whimpering so badly, I think....(what it felt like, I don't think they really were yelling but they had to ask me repeatedly) at me asking if I wanted to deliver her that way or turned back over. I want to turn over.
-they help me turn over, I throw the pillows off the bed.
-I am ready to push!!!
-They see her head. They tell me she has dark hair. yes!!! More motivation to get her out!
-I push her head out and the cord is loosely wrapped around her neck (just like the other two). They mend that. and I push the rest of her out, or rather, she slides out, that is how it felt anyway.
-Delivered naturally again! No time for an epidural, even if I needed to resort to that.
-She immediately cries, such relief, and they place her on my chest.
-She is beautiful!
-She is healthy!
-Oh, and I didn't tear this time!!!!

-Cecily Rebecca is officially born and named shortly after.
-Call my mom, per her request, to let her know the news.
-She weighs in at 7 lbs, 3 oz, 20 inches long
-rosy red lips, medium brown hair, smashed nose and round head.

the Aftermath:
-they give me pitocin to help deliver placenta. It is so much easier this time around. not painful.
-while holding Cecily I hear dripping on the floor. my IV comes undone. lol. We have to call a nurse to have them put it back in except half the bag is already dribbled out. They just take that darn heplock out. wahoo!
-contractions continue even after she's born. they continue all night long, and worse when nursing. heard this is typical with subsequent births. Darn. Should have taken Lortab when they first offered it.
-Take Lortab all the next day, switched off with Motrin for swelling.
-Whoa! Lortab is stroooong stuff. Makes me totally drowsy and incredibly tired. Stop taking after the first day. Not sure if I should take that next time.
-no soreness w/no tearing, just pain from contractions and nursing.
-she nurses well right away.
-Tyler goes home to sleep in a more comfortable bed.

2:30 am:
-I finally get to sleep :)
-6 hours of labor and I am so happy she's here instead of inside of me!
-When I check out of the hospital the nurse notices I don't walk like I just had a baby! Wahoo! It's true. I feel no soreness and have no problems going to the bathroom or sitting or any of that. It's so nice :)

The kids love her immediately. They smother her with hugs and kisses. They love to visit me in the hospital not just to seem me but mainly because they get to play on the stool with wheels and eat oreos from the snack room. I enjoy going to bed at 9pm but Jocelyn, in particular, has a hard time saying goodbye to me. She's had the hardest time adjusting to not having my attention. But she is so good to far. My mom was here for the first few days to help out and my now my mother and sister-in-law are here to help for a week. It has been so wonderful to have help. I was a little emotional the first day and probably will be as my help leaves. My house will probably be messy at first and the kids will probably watch a lot of movies until we all adjust. I have to remind myself to sleep and not run faster than I need to, especially since I am not sore this time around.

Life is good. I love my little Cecily. Even when I only get cat naps every 1o minutes until 3am. She'll adjust to the night/day difference eventually. Luckily, though her billirubin counts are high, she doesn't have to be under lights because she is eating/pooping so well. What a blessing, so far!

I am happy she's safely here. I am tired. But I am not pregnant anymore! I have a lot of weight to lose but I have a new daughter to grow to love! I am blessed.

Thanks to my dad who was able to take these photos for us :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Nothing is happening this weekend. What I felt the other night for 3 hours was a false alarm. Practice. Preparation. Braxton hicks??? Whatever it was and that I keep experiencing is for me to learn patience. So, I don't think this baby without a name is coming this weekend. Darn.

Patience. A virtue that has long left my life. Come back patience! Today we had Stake Conference at 2pm. To be honest, I was hoping to be sitting in a hospital bed than on a reasonably hard yet comfortable bench in the Provo Tabernacle. At 2pm. Right smack dab in the middle of our children's naptime. They were fed previously but Jocelyn claimed, out loud, that she was huuuuungry. The only thing I really gleaned from the 2 hour experience was that Tim Slover, a very good playwright, is one of the high councilmen. And that Dr. Staehli, from BYU, was released from the same position. And I also learned that if you are locked under stubble left from an earthquake with an infant that you can feed it your own blood to keep it alive. ? Who knew? Needless to say, the kids were pretty awful. Makes us wonder why we even try to go and if they are feeling the spirit at all or just finding more reason to "hate" church.

While I've had to "wait" for this baby to come I've done a lot of things on my Nesting list. Our house is the cleanest it's ever been all at once. The living room is picked up and dusted. The rocking chair waiting for a baby to be rocked in. My bedroom is re-organized and all set up complete with porta-crib, changing table, baby monitor, diapers, burp cloths, etc; the bathroom organized and cleaned; the kitchen nearly spotless save the fridge. I finally hung up the winter coats instead of staying in the pile on the floor hidden behind a door; I made two canvas bags for Tyler's chess pieces; organized the books on the living room bookshelves; hung mirrors; re-foiled stove units; packed the hospital bag. Ran errands all week long trying to walk as much as possible. Just waiting. I can't call anyone in my family without immediately saying, "No, I'm not in the hospital" right away so they don't get too excited.

This babe keeps dropping lower and lower each morning. She can't get much lower without crowning. I keep hoping contractions will become more regular and stronger but to no avail. My mom keeps warning me that it's okay to let her "bake" all the way. In Europe, and other countries, their due dates are at 41 or 42 weeks, after all. I think I was spoiled with having Jocelyn 12 days early.

The kids are acting out. I should have expected it. They know something is going to change. They can sense I am focused on the baby. They are excited for the baby to come but I don't think they realize how much it will change all of our lives in small ways. How sleep deprived I will be. How quiet we'll have to be. How much attention she'll demand and take away from them. None of us are ready for that yet.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Because you wanted one.....I haven't smiled for real in a photo for a long time. Self-conscious. Anywho, this is a documentation at nearly 38 weeks. 2 cm dilated, 75% effaced. Wahoo! She sticks out a lot further than my other two did. And I am a lot bigger (especially weight wise) than I was with my other two. She is head down and continues to drop. Actually, I am in less pain now than I was in my 2nd trimester. I don't know why. My pain is always around the pelvis and hips (not back, unless I do something stupid like bend over wrong or lift something wrong). It was painful to walk or stand for too long. But since Christmas break it has vanished. It must be the position she's moved into or something. I don't know. I am just happy to have some energy back to get stuff done to de-stress my life a little.

Last night, I had contractions for several hours. I started getting really nervous because I wasn't "ready". My hospital bag wasn't packed, her first outfit not chosen, laundry not put away, etc. So after two hours of trying to sleep I got up and did those things until 1 am. And then of course, the contractions stopped. Dang it!

So I am hoping this weekend she'll come. I haven't had consistent contractions since then but we'll see. I hope it doesn't go on for weeks like this. This pretend labor. This weekend would be perfect because it's a 3 day weekend and Tyler would be home. Plus my mom would be able to help out a bit longer too.

So, I'll keep you posted :)

My silly brother trying to see who's belly is bigger. I think I won.


We went bowling for family night this week. We had a great time! Samuel's score came close to mine too, several strikes included. Though he did use the bumper pads and Jocelyn was able to use the ramp. Maybe the Wii is helping out! I bowled like a 95 year old woman. I was sore later that night. I am pathetically out of shape. BUT it did get things going. I had contractions all night long and I think it helped soften things up and probably helped dilate me too.

We went bowling now because my water broke less than 12 hours after Jocelyn was born. I was hoping the same would happen this time but I had no such luck. However, I do think it progressed things along.

Also, if you want free bowling like we did you just need to buy Tony's frozen pizza's. They have a coupon on the back for free bowling at particular alleys. You just need to pay for shoe rental. And you can use more than one coupon at once to pay for the whole family.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Nesting list

A huge thing is checked off my mental nesting list: complete freezer meals.

A huge thanks to my sister-in-law Jana, who helped me cook for 5 hours and did the dishes after so I could rest my weary limbs. It would have taken me twice as long by myself. We made 8 meals. I made two previously this week by doubling what I was making for dinner and freezing them.

Here are 8 of the 10 ready to freeze.

In case you're interested here are the meals we made. I cannot vouch for them being good yet, especially after being frozen. Three, to be honest, I'd never made, which is risky. But they all seem pretty delicious.

1. Sloppy Joes with some modifications
2. Manicotti with some modifications
3. Chicken Roll-ups
4. Lasagna with some modifications
5. Chili by Cooks Illustrated
6. Biscuits and Gravy
7. Minestrone
8. Lentil Soup
9. Beef Enchiladas
10. Chicken Enchiladas by BHG

I think all the hours of cooking will be worth the time that I don't have to spend in the kitchen with a newborn. And maybe it'll push me into early delivery ??

Also completed on my nesting list, microwave. Thank you Stephanie for the lemon tip. The first time I tried it I did not re-read your suggestion. So I stuck half a lemon in a bowl in the micro for 5 minutes. A nasty burnt smell and sticky bowl later, I realized I did it wrong. The second time and right way worked much better.

Now, I've got to pre-wash the baby clothes, pack the hospital bag, re-arrange the bedroom, and a few other things still need to get done before this baby comes. But I could manage if she comes early :)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

On my mind

We had hamburger helper tonight for dinner because we didn't have butter to make what I really planned on making.

I am excited for my marathon freezer meal cooking day on Saturday.

I actually look pregnant this time around. My belly is HUGE!

I have an outy belly button for the first time in my life. It kind of hurts.

I am only 3 weeks away from my due date! I plan on bowling with the kids next week to speed things up!

My CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) suggested I take Tylenol before going to bed to relieve the aches and pains in my shoulders and hips. It seems to help! She also suggested I only gain 1 pound a week (that was 5 lbs and 2 weeks ago) Oops.

Looking forward to running again. Hallelujah!

Looking forward to meeting this little girl that constantly moves inside me. I wonder if she's big. I wonder if she'll have hair like the other two did. I wonder what name Tyler and I will agree on.

Have a mile long list of stuff to do before she comes like clean the nasty microwave and re-arrange our bedroom.

Hoping she comes early but not during the week the owner decides to come and paint and carpet the room next door (ie, where the storage and laundry are)!?!?!

We bought 1/8 of a cow from my uncle's father for $1.70/lb. So now our deep freezer if full of chicken, halibut, salmon, a bunch of ground beef and a bunch of steaks :)

I have a new Church assignment. Relief Society chorister. I already hate it. I thought I knew what I was doing. Boy, was I wrong! Tyler took a whole class on conducting while at BYU so he gave me a few pointers. By the time we leave this ward in April I might have it figured out. Singing with the nursery kids was soooo much easier. I'd rather be teaching.

That's pretty all that is on my mind. haha. Baby, baby, baby and then a few other things. As it should be, right?

Looking Back

I am making goals this year but I am not holding myself to them to the point that I feel like a failure if I don't accomplish them. Looking back, I realized I did accomplish many of the goals I had made. The biggest being opening my Etsy shop, potty training both children and becoming pregnant.

This year I want some basic things. Having a third child is quite terrifying to me. So overcoming that challenge is my first focus for this year. Understanding and having a greater love for my children and husband as well.

I'll see where my Etsy shop takes me. Maybe I'll let it grow or maybe I'll let it stay the same.

Our future is up in the air. The unknown hits us again this Spring as we await to hear about internships, where we'll be living, if the house sells that we're living in and we have to get kicked out. All of this will be answered come March/April.

I need to get to know myself better. Understand my personal values and what I want in life. Not so basic stuff. It should be pretty simple, right? I want to live the Gospel, right? But why? I want the best for my children, but how? I want to be happy, but when, how and why? These things were rolling around in my mind last year and I need to answer them this year, I feel. Do I want an Etsy shop or a more open life? How much "me" time can I afford to give myself... or lose? How much more can I enjoy motherhood?

These kinds of questions I ask myself and wonder. 2010. I hope you're a great year, better than the last! We shall see.....

New Years Eve 2009

Tyler's sisters like to give themes for each New Years Eve celebration. This year was Asian. We cooked all day making homemade egg rolls, Korean Jopchee, orange chicken, and wan-tons. We had a TON of food. The girls all dressed up in Asian garb. Can you tell which one was told she was adopted growing up? She actually looks Asian (the one with the short black hair and dimples just like Jocelyn's). Carson, Troy and Jana's "little" guy was all decked out too. The girls also dressed up Jocelyn as Kung-Fu's Tigress and Samuel as the Karate Kid. He's sporting the blond wig and looks almost identical to his cousin Olivia. We played Euchre after we ate and I was in the "championship" game but blundered it with a stupid pepper. sigh. Euchre, by the way, is a mid-western 6-handed face-card game. Often compared to sheephead, hearts or rook. It's complicated to learn but soooo fun.

Fun times for the close of the year!

Jocelyn's 3rd Birthday

Jocelyn totally relished in opening so many gifts this season. She was spoiled by all.

Her first present, to herself, was a new haircut. She's given herself this three times now. Fortunately, they've never been so bad that we had to cut her hair totally butch. You can see in this photo that she cut her bangs (which I've worked all year to grow out), and layered both sides, leaving a bit of a mullet. Luckily, Tyler's aunt Sherrie came to town and was able to mend it. I still miss her long hair. Oh well, now I don't have to do it as often.
Before fix:

After: these cool special shiny M&M's matched her shirt perfectly, don't mind the white-trash chocolate smeared teeth.

A little about Joc in the past year.

I called her a tumor once this summer because she is so attached to me. Tyler thought that was unaffectionate. He's probably right. He reminded me that she won't want to tag on my leg and cry when I leave her for much longer and that I should be grateful she loves me so much now.

I've been thinking of what I DO appreciate about my little 3 old sidekick. And I've noticed some habits that she's developed already.

  • She's not afraid of bugs.
  • Everything is "cute" or "pretty."
  • She's a little obsessive. Case in point: she wore her green froggy boots almost daily, and put up a a fuss when she couldn't. She has to have her blankie with her during all sleep times. When her hair is done, she has to feel it "move", in other words, she likes the feeling of it brushing against her neck while in a ponytail. She feel prettier that way, I guess. Who doesn't? How can you teach that to a 2 year old though? And lastly, she wears my garage sale found "princess" dress almost every day. I have to tear it off of her during nap and mealtimes.
  • She has the vocabulary of a 4 year old.
  • She can cross her eyes. And when she gets very excited about something, she'll shake and cross her eyes at the same time. I hope that doesn't stick :)
  • Samuel is still her very best friend, even if he doesn't think so.
  • She makes the funniest facial expressions, naturally. It makes me laugh daily.
  • She does this "underwear" dance every time she's pantless. It's like this little hip moving cheer thing. Makes me laugh every time (except when we're in a hurry to get dressed).
  • She loves "reading" books. We can hear her reading herself to sleep.
We love our little Jocie. or should it be Jossie, Jossy, Jocey????

Tyler made her a triple chocolate cake that I embellished with pink cream. I topped it with three clothespin dolls (tutorial found here) each holding a candle. I made a pink and purple pennant bunting banner to hang with the "springy" banner (she wanted a pink birthday). She was in heaven opening all of her presents. Happy Birthday Joc!

I blogged about making these here.

Christmas 2009

I'll start by showing a few snow shots that we took in Utah before our Christmas trip. Samuel wanted to re-enact a snowball fight in slow motion but I'll spare you those pictures.

Oh, and no newsletter or card this year. I don't think I sent one out last year either. I am trying to set a precedence of not being consistent so people don't expect every year or every other year and if I need to skip a year it doesn't throw people off. You know what I mean? Less pressure for me.

Christmas was spent at Tyler's parent's home in Colorado this year. One nice thing about being a student is that you get the holiday breaks so we were able to stay for a whole 2 weeks!!

My favorite part of the whole trip? Not having to do dishes, cook or clean. I was admittedly (and maybe rightfully so?) lazy. I sat on my tail as much as I could. The first two days I was more swollen than ever (a combination of running around the week previously getting everything ready for the flight, holiday, etc) and the elevation from flying turned me into a balloon. Luckily, all the sitting around and resting brought my ankles back. Then Samuel got sick the night before we left, Jocelyn 3 days later and me 2 days later. I've never puked so much in one sickness ever. I was hoping it would have helped me dilate, but no luck there.

Oh, and how were we able to fly? Luckily, Tyler got bumped on one of his Southwest flights this summer and received vouchers enough for Joc and I to fly. Then we had B1G1free with Delta so Tyler and Samuel flew together. We were able to fly 4 for the price of 1. However, my flight was delayed for 3 hours so I spent as much time in travel with the plane than we would have in a car. Oh, well.

Holiday activities included Avatar, cookies (of which I ate 2/3 myself!), tanks on the Wii with Papa every morning, snow, Christmas scones, way too much eating, movies, games, sickness, visiting with Jennie and Grant, playing with Aunties, and relaxation!

Favorite presents?

Mine: Dyson DC24

Tyler: black socks without holes

Samuel: Diesel 10 train

Jocelyn: 2 Princess dresses, shoes and a wand

Monday, January 4, 2010

Summer fun 2009

I know, this happened like 6 months ago but I am trying to catch up. Part of the whole nesting thing.

5 weeks spent in Colorado (already posted about). 5 weeks spent in Mt. Pleasant. Swimming, Tyler fishing in Alaska, parades, visiting cousins in Richfield, playing in Grandpa's studio, morning sickness.

Lake P 2009

Lake Powell, Utah. The whole family. August 2009.

Swimming, heat, Euchre, eating, tubing, skiing, relaxation, seashells, sea doos, hand painted T-shirts, fishing, yucky hair, sweaty faces, no editing :)

T-Day 2009

Mt. Pleasant, UT. The whole family.

Shooting clay pigeons, cookie turkeys, food, Boursin, Tyler's pumpkin pies, eating, late dinner (silly convection oven), scratches, sickness, way too much Martinelli's, loudness, laughing, late night discussions, home-grown potatoes and carrots, BYU/Utah game, New Moon, cousins, Euchre, Agricola and FUN!!!

The Drapers came down for the day too. These photos are compliments of Liz :)

Side note: the band aid is a battle wound from a battle of cousins. Olivia and Samuel normally get along the best, but sometimes temperaments get in the way, see how they are hugging down below like best friends.

Samuel loved hanging out with Thomas, my first cousin.

Samuel learned this sign from Wii Guitar Hero

Best friends again

(Eva and Warren are MIA in this photo)