Well, yesterday was Mother's Day...obviously. And I have to admit that lately after having these "highs" of days I have the "downs" the next. For example, after I came home from Women's Conference I was in the worst mood. I felt so uplifted but I came home and was the total opposite of what I wanted to be. Tyler was like, "Should I expect this every time you come home from cool things?" He was confused because he took the kids for the whole day so that I could have my day. Well, I had to think about it and it reminded me of when my high school days. After I came home from EFY I bawled. It was such a spiritual high all week and then I came home to arguing siblings and that constant spiritual lift had left. So I've realized it was the same for Women's Conference and perhaps the same for Mother's Day.
I had a great Mother's Day yesterday. It really started Friday night when I went shopping and bought some flattering to my curvatious figure clothing. And I haven't felt the pangs of guilt for how much I spent....yet. Then on Sunday I was able to "sleep in" (which wasn't all that productive as my door was left open and I could hear all that was going on in the kitchen) and awoke to my requested muffins for breakfast. Then Tyler toiled away all day to make a yummy roast dinner for me and my parents (and my brother Levi). After 3 pee and 1 poop accident from Samuel and 1 poop explosion from Jocelyn, I cooked for another couple of hours for our dinner groups the next day.
All in all it was a great day! The pee's and poo's reminded me that I am a mother and that I get to teach my children something! Even if it is taking all of my patience out of me. Samuel was excited to present Tyler's gift to me. He "surprised" me with this oil burning thing from the Body Shop. It smells really nice! Go Tyler! Oh, and I did get to nap after Church too! That's all I really wanted...that and some respect from my children.
So after this wonderful day I had my "let-down" today. Why is that? Is anyone else crazy like me? I wonder about myself sometimes...how my mind works.
Anyway.....I hope you all had wonderful Mother's Day either thinking of your own mother, being a mom or soon to be a new mom! Where would I be without my mother? Somewhere completely different I am sure. I love you Lori for raising your wonderful 6 children so righteously! You are a fantastic example to me and I watch you closely and admire your many traits and talents! And mom! I love you mom! You have taught me so much in this life and I appreciate your wisdom, style and kindness! Thank you!
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When we first had Celeste, I would cry every time we'd go out on a date. I'd be so excited to actually go out and would look forward to it.
ReplyDeleteBut, when we finally got out, I was sad. I should have been ecstatic because, hey, I was actually getting some time away from my new baby and some one-on-one time with my husband, but I would cry. Hormones probably had a lot to do with it, but I think I also cried because going out reminded me of the my child-free life... and how much I liked that life that was gone forever.
Things are much better now! I've acclimated to my new life as a mom and Brian enjoys our dates much more now that I don't cry every time we leave, but there are still plenty of ups and downs in other areas. ;-)
My emotions can flip-flop so fast, sometimes I don't even see it coming. I've always been a sensitive emotional being though.
ReplyDeleteLast night Jim and I were laughing and having a good time. Then he gave Tralee a bite of chocolate when I JUST gave her a bite of yogurt. She spit the yogurt out all over herself so she could have the bite of chocolate from Jim. I got mad, and snapped at Jim. He was like, "Whoa! Were did this mood come from?" I had to think about it, and realized that right before this happened I asked Jim when he was going to get paid next, because I was worried about our bills getting paid. Anyways. . . I realized that when I started stressing about money I became grumpy, thus snapping at my husband for doing something that was -- yes, annoying -- but not in need of getting his head bit off.
To sum up, I think it's normal to have ups and downs. Sometimes they're caused by certain stresses, and sometimes it might just be hormones. I think you're right though, when you leave uplifting places like EFY and Women's Conference and return to the hum-drum of life you're bound to feel a little sad. I bet it's something like when missionaries return home. I always hear how missionaries feel "off" the first few weeks home.
Don't worry. You're normal.
You know I am the same way. One thing that helps me is to pray to be more connected with Nicolas. I find that I have more patience, understanding, and love. When things are hard I'm quick to be upset by things he does, or I take it personally, or I'm impatient or on and on and on. Praying for connection makes the rewards of parenting more visable daily. I know it sounds strange..but try it.
ReplyDeleteI just laughed when I read this because it was SO nice to know that I am not the only one that feels this way when I shouldn't (after the events)! I have had the exact same experiences after I have left EFY, been to Women's Week at BYU-Idaho, Time Out for Women, and even General Conference. I don't know if it's the same way with you, but I know that for me I get that way because I am on such a spiritual high when am attending and listening in these settings and then when it's all over, I am back in the REAL WORLD again and all that fades away. It's almost like I'm in a different world while I'm taking it all in with these neat things and then I come home and it's like, "Oh yeah...this is what it's like being here. Screaming kids, diapers, all the small things that REALLY DO MATTER, but just don't seem to are there again. Yes, we attend these things so that we DON'T feel this way when we get home but I think that it is hard living in the world and not of it (as in not getting down-it's hard). But it's important to remember the things we're taught at these events so it can not be as hard or at least so we can deal with it better! Life is hard! No doubt about that, but with the gospel and its messages, and prayer (lots of it), it's easier to get through each day! I completely understand Hannah and I am right there with you. It's hard, but we can make it!
ReplyDeleteI can realate.
ReplyDeleteWhen I get really out there, I now take it as a red flag that i need immediately either 1. food 2. sleep 3. or time out to recharge my batteries (for me usually something creative) having done all 3 of these with no improvement means I need 4. a trip to Bermuda; which hasn't really happened yet...